Moving On
by Hay
Summary: Piper and Melinda move on, leaving Leo behind.


Moving On  
  
  
~~~  
Look out the window  
Study the sky  
Cause this time is forever  
As I whisper 'goodbye'  
~~~  
  
The car was packed. The trunk filled to it's limit and seats littered with small boxes and loose items. I didn't even know if I had everything I needed, but somehow it didn't matter. All I needed was my daughter and my spirit still relatively intact. The longer I stayed in the Manor, the more I believed it was cursed and not blessed. The air was thick with sadness, too many deaths for carefree voices to fill the hall. Too many fear-filled nights for the mirrors to reflect smiles.   
  
Leo sat staring out of a downstairs window, drifted off to some far-away land in another one of his trances. He had been suspended, over three years ago now and they'd permanently clipped his wings less than a year into the suspension. He'd lost too many of his charges, defied too many rules and taken too many chances. They could have taken him away, confined him to specific duties, but they hadn't. Instead, they sent him to me permanently and didn't care for the aftermath.   
  
We'd tried hard if only for Melinda's sake. For the smiles she gave and her soft laughter that tried to break the sombre atmosphere. But we couldn't make it work and the more we tried, the more it broke us. Each fight…each hurtful word that couldn't be taken back. It wasn't worth it anymore.   
  
So, I walked quickly to where Leo sat, Melinda hoisted to my hip. She was three years old now and questioned everything. Why was the sky blue? Why did the stars hide during the day? Why didn't Daddy give her big cuddles anymore? Sometimes, she just had to be content with 'I don't know'. She was realising at three years old, what most children didn't realise until they hit puberty. That Mommy and Daddy just don't know everything.   
  
I waited a few seconds, wondering if Leo would sense his wife and child behind him. Why I thought this time might be different, I don't know. Maybe I wanted a reason to stay, an indication that the fire that once burned between has had been smothered, but not extinguished. I was clutching at straws and they suddenly slipped completely through my grasp.  
  
"Leo." I said quietly, feeling Melinda's arms tighten around my neck. "We're leaving."  
  
Leo simply nodded in his daze like state, "Alright." It was like I was just heading out to the store to pick up some milk.   
  
"Forever this time. We won't be back." I added, wanting to at least receive some kind of reaction from him. I wanted to be able to tell Melinda when she got older, that her father really did care. That he had looked her in the eyes and kissed her goodbye when we'd left.   
  
He glanced at us momentarily, his eyes dull and lifeless. "You've always done what you wanted Piper. I don't expect anything different this morning."  
  
I couldn't reply to that. I was leaving with his daughter, a loveable toddler that was nothing more than an innocent in the hurtful games her parents played. I couldn't fight with him now. I wasn't angry…I was barely even hurt. More disappointed, frustrated, filled with regret, but not angry. I bent down and put Melinda on the ground, whispering in her ear, "Go give Daddy a kiss goodbye." She looked up at me carefully and I nodded again, what child should be scared of their father's reaction to a kiss? What world had I raised my child in for three years?  
  
Melinda walked over to him, a bright summer dress contrasting her hesitant eyes. She placed a hand on his knee and waited until he looked down at her. "A big cuddle Daddy?" She asked, holding her arms up to him. Leo lifted her quickly, returning her kiss and warm hug with wooden arms and a faraway stare. Detachment was far more effective than acceptance. He never fathered a child. He never fell in love. He never relied on someone so much that he became vulnerable. He never became involved in the world of witches and evil, this entire life was some comatose induced dream from which he would one day wake. He just had to wait for that day.  
  
I held out my hand to Melinda, her big brown eyes filled with tears until they eventually crashed down her cheeks with the echo of a small sob. As mother and daughter, we walked away from the only life we'd come to know. I held my head up high and I didn't look back. I could see Melinda waving to Leo's back, her broken voice whispering her farewells. I didn't need to turn back and see Leo ignoring her; there are some things that a mother just knows; and some things that a wife expects.  
  
~~~  
Too many heartbreaks  
A bucket full of tears  
Far too much hurt  
From these lonely years  
~~~  
  
Melinda fell asleep just a few blocks from the Manor, her face stained with tears and her hiccups still plaguing her miserable slumber. Twisted under her left arm was the security blanket she'd had since birth. I'd tried to pry it from her when I was packing, pleading with her to leave it behind. But children didn't understand new beginnings; they didn't understand why things couldn't be fixed when we wanted them to be. If only it were that easy. If only love solved all the associated problems.  
  
So I drove. I didn't know where I was going and I didn't care for the places I passed through. We stopped only for sleep, exercise and food; determined to keep on going until we reached out destination. Wherever it may be. I was sure I would know when I found it. The small towns were always interesting, the whispers that strangers seemed intent on sharing behind our back. The young mother and her daughter, their car packed to the rim as they're just passing through…we had to have a past. We had to be running from something. As I kept telling Mel as we drove from place to place, we're not running from something…we're running towards something. Something beautiful. Something just for us.   
  
She doesn't understand. She doesn't know where we are or who the people are that we meet. She doesn't know why we sleep in a different towns each night and why the beds all look the same. She gets tired and irritable. Her voice becoming high pitched and whining. "Why Mommy? Why Mommy? Are we there yet?" She repeats, over and over.  
  
"Not yet sweetheart." I reply, trying to stay positive. Trying to focus on our new beginning.  
  
"I want to go home to my bed. Why can't we Mommy?" I'm determined not to cry as I glance in the rear-view mirror at my heartbroken daughter. How do you explain to a three year old, that love isn't enough to keep their family together? What sort of future am I giving my child, when I can't even give her faith in love?   
  
So I tip my chin up, put a smile on my face and repeat as often as necessary, "We're going to find a new home Mel, just for you and me. Don't be mad at Mommy, it's going to be better. You'll see. Just rest your eyes and we'll be there soon." I turn the radio up slightly and settle back my head. Singing along as though I know exactly where I'm going and how long it's going to take. Singing as though our worries are far behind.   
  
~~~  
Don't be angry   
And I won't be sad  
For this is the best opportunity  
That we've ever had.  
~~~  
  
  
  
FIN.  
(lyrics are mine)  
  
charminghay@aol.com 


End file.
